As I See It - #3

I'm not sure when being "old" begins.  For me it was sometime after I turned 65 and stopped working and 85, which was when I decided I went from "old" to "very old."  In retrospect it seems to have been a gradual process.

As I aged I didn't experience a dramatic physical event, like a stroke or heart attack.  But I was conscious that my strength and stamina were less than in the past.  I have been spared mental deterioration and dementia.  Even now, at 89, my cognition is good.

More obvious has been how I see life, how I live my life.  I was always driven to succeed, so I worked hard and organized myself to "make it."  No more!  Being old has given me freedom and relieved me of the need to "make it."  I call it a victory over the tyranny of the "shoulds."  In the past the shoulds had a lot of control.  I should do this.  I should do that.  There isn't much choice when the shoulds are in charge.  So being free from needing to respond to these demands has been a blessing.

One thing I noticed as I've lived as a "very old" man: I pay more attention to obituaries.  Not who has died or how, but how old they were.  Once in a while I'll see an obit for someone who was older than I am.  That's the exception.  Almost all are about people who were younger than I am when they died.  

Checking the obits when I read the morning papers is a sobering reality that I haven't tried to avoid.  It is a reminder that gratitude is the appropriate emotion as I live through the gift of another day.   

As I See It - #2

Again, this country is in mourning after the senseless slaughter of little kids and their teachers yesterday.

Again, there are cries of outrage from gun control advocates, parents of children who have died in past shootings and from average citizens who see this pattern of violence repeat itself one more time.  Victims in Buffalo from the last slaughter aren't even buried yet.

Taking steps to control the availability of guns would be good.  But with 300 million guns already in the hands of Americans do we really think we'll be able to put a stop to the carnage?  Not gonna happen.  If laws feared the most by Second Amendment advocates were put in place, or even the repeal of the Second Amendment, wouldn't change what is ingrained in American culture - violent behavior.

I just finished reading a book on the history of the American West.  From start to finish violence is the recurring theme.  Between Americans and the British, the French, the Mexicans.  Between Americans and Indians.  Between Americans with different religious beliefs.  Between Americans North and South.  It never ends.

So if violence is in our DNA, is there any hope that the future will be different than the past?  Not much.  Which is not to say that actions to mitigate the damage shouldn't be taken.  That would be a good thing.  But we shouldn't kid ourselves.  This is who we are.  Not part of our culture to be proud of.

As I See It - 5/24/22!

This is the start of a new writing project.  In a call with my friend Pam yesterday she asked if I was doing much writing.  I told her I was posting on this blog, but not all that frequently.  I said I had thoughts to share but they didn't seem interesting enough to write about.

As we continued to talk I told her about my frame of mind these days and how it had changed over the years.  For example, at 89 years of age I don't see an unlimited future.  Quite the opposite.  Each new day is a gift not to be taken for granted.  And my thoughts are consistent with that reality.

Pam said that given where I am in life she would be interested in knowing what I think and that would be something worth writing about.  When she said this it got my attention.  Even though the idea wasn't totally new, for reasons that I can't explain it was like a whole new possibility had opened up.

Since our talk I've been mulling over what she said.  And so this is the birth of "As I See It."  I expect it will be a series of short essays on a variety of topics, whatever calls to me that day.  Time will tell how it all turns out.

Onward . . .

Looking for the Light!

Inside my bubble there is much to be grateful for and not much to complain about.  But when I look outside I see darkness.

The country I grew up in is gone, and I miss it.  Even when we fell short, which was often, we stood for something grand, ennobling.  We had reason to be proud of being American.  But now:

We are bitterly partisan.  We argue as enemies, not as people with whom we disagree but can respect.

We don't trust our institutions.  You name it, Congress, the Supreme Court, elections, even the CDC, the world's gold standard for health care, is disrespected,

I would have thought than in the face of an pandemic that threatens everyone we would have come together.  But no, everything is an excuse to demonize the other - masks, vaccinations, schools, mandates, etc.

We've done a little better on Ukraine and I can see some common views on opposing Russia and their barbarism.  But it's not enough.

I don't spend much time outside my bubble, so I protect myself from directly confronting the darkness.  But I know it's there and it saddens me.  I haven't totally given up, so I'll continue to look for the light, but today it seems like a lonely search!