As I See It - #3

I'm not sure when being "old" begins.  For me it was sometime after I turned 65 and stopped working and 85, which was when I decided I went from "old" to "very old."  In retrospect it seems to have been a gradual process.

As I aged I didn't experience a dramatic physical event, like a stroke or heart attack.  But I was conscious that my strength and stamina were less than in the past.  I have been spared mental deterioration and dementia.  Even now, at 89, my cognition is good.

More obvious has been how I see life, how I live my life.  I was always driven to succeed, so I worked hard and organized myself to "make it."  No more!  Being old has given me freedom and relieved me of the need to "make it."  I call it a victory over the tyranny of the "shoulds."  In the past the shoulds had a lot of control.  I should do this.  I should do that.  There isn't much choice when the shoulds are in charge.  So being free from needing to respond to these demands has been a blessing.

One thing I noticed as I've lived as a "very old" man: I pay more attention to obituaries.  Not who has died or how, but how old they were.  Once in a while I'll see an obit for someone who was older than I am.  That's the exception.  Almost all are about people who were younger than I am when they died.  

Checking the obits when I read the morning papers is a sobering reality that I haven't tried to avoid.  It is a reminder that gratitude is the appropriate emotion as I live through the gift of another day.