Monday, April 13, 2015

Early Onset Boredom!

Hillary says she’s running for President.  Yawn!
So does Cruz and Rand Paul and Rubio.  Triple Yawn!
And soon there will be the rest of them.  Multiple Yawn!
And so for the next year and a half the pundits will pund
And the bloggers will blog
And the pollsters will poll
And a few people will make a lot of noise
And it’ll be sound and fury – signifying nothing
Most of us will yawn
And wish that someone would come along who could excite us
And in the end someone will win
And we’ll applaud ourselves, not for choosing a great leader, but for surviving the process.


Tuesday, April 07, 2015

In Case You Missed The News!

Do vibrating belts that are supposed to burn off flab and help you lose weight work?  No.

Every autumn blackpoll warblers, tiny birds that weight about half an ounce, fly 1,500 miles nonstop from Canada to Puerto Rico.  I guess they go north again in the spring, but I have no confirmation about the return trip.

They’ve found another human forebear, an ancient hominid known as Little Foot who lived 3.67 million years ago.  That makes this guy who had tiny feet older than Lucy and suggests that there were more species who were related to us than previously thought.

A new study indicates that men taking statin drugs are twice as likely to exhibit reduced sexual function than those taking placebos.  Of course, it is also more likely that statin takers will live longer.  So guys, choose.

Speaking of placebos, another new study shows that people taking acetaminophen (Tylenol) for pain are no more likely to get relief than people taking placebos.

It’s a myth that eating carrots will improve your eyesight.  On the plus side, eating fish high in omega-3 fatty acids and spinach can cut the risk of age-related macular degeneration.

In his first game with the Boston Red Sox, ex-Giant Pablo Sandoval (who goes out of his way to bad mouth his former teammates) went 0 for 5 and struck out 3 times.  Great news, and good riddance.

In his first game back with the Yankees after being suspended for a year because of drug use, Alex Rodriguez went 1 for 2 with a walk and a single, to the cheers of forgiving fans at Yankee Stadium.  Of course the Yankee fans would cheer.  Hope springs eternal for the underachievers in the Bronx.

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Low Expectations!

For Trevor Noah as a replacement for Jon Stewart
For Apple Watch
For the San Francisco 49ers in the foreseeable future
For any semblance of peace in the Middle East during my lifetime
For the San Francisco Giants in 2015
For Greece and the European Union reaching an agreement that lasts
For Israel to become less isolated in the world
For Congress to govern effectively irrespective of who is in the majority
For women to be treated equally anywhere in the world

For a drift to the political right to be reversed in the U.S. and elsewhere

Friday, March 27, 2015

The Nightly Show!

I wanted it to be good.  I wanted it to succeed.  So I tried.  For two months I was a regular listener.  But it didn’t work.  The show never got better.  A format that depended on strong guests – who rarely showed up.  Silly, insipid diversions that didn’t help.  And a nice guy host, Larry Wilmore, who wasn’t strong enough to overcome the other deficiencies.

Going in I thought that black-focused subjects might not be enough to work for a diversified audience.  But that wasn’t the problem.  Whatever the night’s focus, the writing and the format fell flat.

So I gave up.  For years I recorded Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert for an hour and watched the next day.  When Colbert left I kept the DVR set to record the full hour.  But no more.  Now it is 8 to 8:30 for the Daily Show and that’s it for Comedy Central on a daily basis.  I didn’t expect the Nightly Show to be as good as Colbert, which was brilliant, but I did expect more than I got.  So I gave up.

I’m happy that John Oliver’s show, Last Week Tonight, has turned out so well.  As with the Nightly Show, I was skeptical that he could pull it off.  But in this case I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was dead wrong.  What Oliver has done is perceptive, thoughtful and entertaining.  Brilliantly done.

So win some, lose some.  Such is life on the small screen.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

I Wonder If . . .

I wonder if the Israelis will care when the U.S. stops supporting them in the U.N.?  My guess: Yes, but they won’t say it too loudly.

I wonder if it will be a problem for colleges when the sanctimonious label “student athlete” is dropped and players can be paid?  My guess:  No.  They’ll still get more than enough money from TV.

I wonder if the Republicans will come up with a viable alternative if the Supreme Court votes against Obamacare and millions lose their health care coverage?  My guess:  No.  Not for a long time.

I wonder if Robert Durst will be convicted of killing Susan Berman if his recorded comment, “I killed them all,” cannot be introduced as evidence in his upcoming trial?  My guess:  Yes, if it gets to a trial.  The L.A. jury won’t let him off the hook.

I wonder if information collected by corporations and then used by the government under the guise of “protecting the homeland” will be misused to violate the privacy of unsuspecting Americans?  My guess:  This question is already overtaken by events.  Already happening.

I wonder if Apple’s stock will take a hit when Apple Watch sales fall short of expectations?  My guess:  Yes, but it won’t be dramatic.

I wonder if the Fed is going to raise the interest rate too soon?  My guess:  Yes.  The irrational fear of inflation will trump common sense.