Wednesday, November 04, 2009


I’m going to a funeral on Friday. I hate funerals!

Hating them has nothing to do with the person who has passed or the survivors. Even if I loved the person very much and shared the grief of those left behind I would not want to attend. Why?

Almost always they are pro forma rituals having more to do with the beliefs of the church under whose auspices the ceremony is being performed than about the person who we should be honoring and remembering.

I acknowledge that for people who share these beliefs this is all meaningful. But I’m not one of them. So attending a funeral service is an uncomfortable experience that I’d like to be finished as soon as possible.

So why go? If the funeral is for a family member, and this one is, I’ll go because I respect the importance of the occasion for other family members. There is no point in disrespecting them. I’ll behave myself and keep my opinions to myself. If the funeral is for a friend whose memory I want to honor and there will be no other opportunity to honor him/her, I’ll go. But I’d much prefer a secular memorial service.

That’s what I’d like for myself. Cremate me and follow the instructions I’ve left for disposing of my ashes. Then later have a big celebration where I can be remembered. And please, no hocus pocus, mumbo jumbo stuff about going to a better place.


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