Message #22 - Give Yourself a Break - Part 1

You’re too hard on yourself.  If I asked you to do a self-assessment most of you would focus on what you don’t like about yourself, what you’d like to do better, what you want to change, all that negative stuff.  Unless I suggested you look at some positive factors I doubt you’d mention many.

Give Yourself a Break!

Start by making forgiveness part of your life.  Wait – I don’t mean forgiving others.  And I’m not talking about the Lord’s Prayer forgiving of your trespasses.  This is not about asking forgiveness from God or anyone else.  It’s about forgiving yourself.

For what, you ask?  Forgive myself for what?  For anything you hold against yourself, that’s what.  You’ve behaved badly.  You’ve done something you’re sorry about.  You hurt someone.  You’ve been beating yourself up forever about stuff that is long gone, but not forgotten by you.  And if it’s not long gone the same message applies.

Forgiving yourself does not mean you condone what you’ve done.  Don’t think you can turn a vice into a virtue by waving a magic wand.  If you should behave differently in the future, then behave differently from now on.  If you should apologize and ask forgiveness from someone, then do that.  Forgiving yourself is a way to get a monkey off your back.  If you’re carrying a burden it’s a way to relieve yourself of the load.

Sometimes there’s no action you can take except the act of self-forgiveness.  A loved one dies and you haven’t told him you love him.  Now it’s too late.  You feel terrible.  Don’t pay the price forever.  Give Yourself a Break!  And make sure you’ve learned a lesson.  Don’t withhold communication and let other loved ones die without hearing what you want to say to them.

I’ve been asked, “OK, I’m willing.  How do I forgive myself?”  Are you ready?  This is really a tough one.  You forgive yourself by forgiving yourself.  Very difficult, right?  An authentic “I forgive myself” will give you the freedom you deserve.  Try it.  You’ll like it.