Mind at Work

Yesterday I did something that I’d thought about for some time but had been hesitant to do. I told many of my friends that I had a blog site up and running and suggested they check it out. Since I went public I’ve noticed something about how my mind works and, perhaps, why I hadn’t told people about it sooner.

When I assumed I was writing mostly to myself I was aware that I really enjoyed the freedom to say whatever I wanted, be as outrageous or provocative as I liked, be the Curmudgeon who resides at the site. I didn’t need to be concerned about what anyone would think about my ideas. Agreement, disagreement, being amused, being pissed off, none of it mattered. I wasn’t trying to gain approval for anything; I was just expressing myself.

Then, when I thought that now others would be reading my words, I began to have second thoughts, even some concern for how my blog would be received. I noticed an old pattern at work. I noticed how self-censorship, a quiet and insidious enemy that often masquerades as a friend, had eaten away at my powers of self-expression. I noticed it and I didn’t like what I saw.

So this is a declaration of independence. I’m not writing to get anything. I’m not writing to impress anyone. I like it when my ideas provoke thinking, and if they don’t, that’s OK too. Let’s just get it on and see what happens.

Onward . . .