The Snail

A story from Dave Sedaris:

A man is awakened from a deep sleep by a knock on the door. Muttering unhappily, he climbs out of bed, makes his way downstairs to the front door and opens it.

No one is there. Or so he thinks until he hears a voice from down near his feet. It’s a snail.

“Good evening sir.”

“What do you want?”

“I’m here to offer you a wonderful magazine subscription.”

With that the man swings his leg back as far as he can and brings it forward with a mighty ‘whoosh.’

His foot connects with the snail. It sails into the night and out of sight. Grumbling, the man goes back to bed and is soon asleep.

Two years go by.

Again the man is sleeping soundly. Again there is a knock at the door. He goes downstairs and opens it. Again the snail is down below in front of him.

In a loud voice he says, “Now what was that all about?”