Curmudgeon's Corner

Message #18 - Say Thank You!

2012-01-31T11:51:00.000-08:00

Blues singer Bessie Smith said:

Some of you men sure do make me tired.

You got a mouthful of “gimme,”

And a handful of “much obliged.”

She’s right, not only about men – but about all of us.

Say Thank You!

Is being courteous old fashioned? I don’t think so.

Is expressing appreciation to someone who has done something for you and expects nothing in return a waste of time? I don’t think so.

Is it more appropriate to say ‘thank you’ to a stranger than to thank someone you see every day? I don’t think so.

Should ‘thank you’ be saved for big favors and not used to acknowledge the small stuff? I don’t think so.

If someone helps you in some way and you think it is part of his job, should you still say ‘thank you?’ Yes, I think so.

Say Thank You, Period!

This is not about saying ‘thank you.’ It’s about a way of being. It’s about how we treat our fellow human beings with whom we have contact.

The question I’ve asked about whether it’s more appropriate to thank a stranger than someone you live with is a big one. Think about it. You have multiple occasions every day to express appreciation (or not) to your partner. It’s really easy to let it go – to not bother. You may even think it is a redundant act.

If you think you deserve it, if you think what’s she’s doing is to be expected and not worthy of a ‘thank you,’ you’re in trouble my friend. Don’t take the people who are close to you for granted. The favors they bestow, the courtesies they extend to you, the actions they take to make your life easier or more pleasant, aren’t part of their job description. They don’t have to do them.

And what about you? What if you do what you don’t have to do and aren’t thanked? Should you be upset? And if you are, should you hold back or should you continue to be helpful, courteous, whatever?

An enlightened answer is ‘Don’t stop being a caring, decent human being just because some fool has bad manners.’ A more likely response is ‘Screw you. Do it yourself next time.’ A practical alternative to both extremes is to make a request that what you’ve done be acknowledged by the receiving person. This way, if you’re angry you don’t have to suppress your anger and the other person might learn something in the process.

I find that courtesy is contagious. And so is lack of courtesy. People tend to behave like those around them. So a ‘do unto others’ approach is more likely to lead to positive behavior than an ‘I’ll get even’ response.

So I’m back to where I began. Say Thank You!

Quote of the Day!

2012-01-21T11:10:00.000-08:00

From Gail Collins in the NY Times:

Newt has framed his sexual history — the parts he isn’t totally denying — in terms of a redemption story. (“I’ve had to go to God for forgiveness.”) Everybody likes a story of the fallen man who rejects his wicked ways and starts a new life. Remember how well George W. Bush did with the one about renouncing alcohol on his 40th birthday? There is, however, a lot of difference between giving up drinking on the eve of middle age and giving up adultery at about the time you’re qualifying for Social Security. Cynics might suggest that Newt didn’t so much reform as poop out.

Go Niners!

2012-01-15T16:12:00.000-08:00

I underestimated our local lads. A tremendously exciting and impressive win yesterday. So now what?

I shall, after 8 years, bring back from exile my two Niners caps from the glory years. They have been stored in a drawer and not allowed on my head since the humiliating 2-14 season in 2004. It was a puny and seemingly futile action to protest incompetent ownership and management in the post-de Bartolo years. In addition to putting my beloved team in the competitive toilet they were intent on exhorting and extorting San Francisco to give them a new stadium or – threat – we’ll move to Santa Clara. Good riddance, said I. No way should public money be spent to keep a for-profit sports enterprise in town. The baseball Giants built a new ballpark with private capital (and a few appropriate tax breaks). These absentee owners from Ohio can do the same – or go ahead and move.

In honor of this year's miraculous resurrection I shall – for now – proudly wear my caps. What I’ll do in 2014 when they open their new stadium in Santa Clara is not clear. Root for the turncoats? Maybe. Cheer for the Raiders – if they’re still in Oakland? Not likely. Feel sorry for the taxpayers in Santa Clara who are footing the bill for an $800 million bond issue? Ha!

In the meantime – Go Niners!

Comments!

2012-01-12T15:33:00.000-08:00

Charlie Ross becoming a host on the CBS Morning show is nuts. I can only figure that someone convinced him to let his ego trump his common sense. For years he’s had the best talk show on TV – rivaled only by some of the work that Bill Moyers did. I can’t imagine he can double his workload, get up in the middle of the night for his morning gig, and maintain the level of quality that we’re accustomed to from him – let alone stay healthy. Remember – not long ago he almost died because of a bad heart valve. I wish him well, but this isn’t going to work.

Are robots getting smart enough to supplant us? I think the answer is ‘yes,’ but not yet. I’ve concluded that the current version, let’s call it “Human Robot 1.0” is Mitt Romney. There’s no other way to explain his Teflon veneer, patent insincerity and eagerness to please at any cost. But this one is no threat to humans. A good try, but it needs a lot of work.

Football: The Bowl Championship game was marginally more watchable than the Bore Bowl between LSU and Bama the first time around. The operative word is ‘marginal.’ Still boring. Tebow’s most recent God-inspired heroics were good enough to almost make me a believer. The operative word is ‘almost.’ Can the Niners beat the Saints on Saturday? Not likely, but I’ve been wrong about our local lads more than once this season. Operative word is ‘maybe.’ So don’t bet your house on it, even if your mortgage is underwater.

Real Football: The Spurs are on roll in England. Good. Juve is on a roll in Italy. Good. Barca is not on a roll in Spain. Not good.

The carnage continues unabated. Bombs in Iraq, Syria, Iran, Pakistan, Yemen, Afghanistan. Bloodbaths in South Sudan, Nigeria, Mexico, Congo, Somalia. Burning monks in China. Multiple killings by angry and/or insane people several times a week in the U.S.

Feel good story of the week: U.S. sailors rescue Iranian fisherman being held by Somali pirates without firing a shot. The key: A sailor talked in Urdu to the Iranians about a rescue strategy. The Somalis listened to the conversation but didn’t have a clue what was being said.

Gentle Humanity!

2012-01-03T11:45:00.000-08:00

Some have asked why I, a cynical curmudgeon and avowed atheist, would recommend that you spend seven minutes immersing yourself in this amazing video.

The answer is simple. This is not about religion or mindless myths followed by the masses. This is about humanity, gentle humanity, available to every person on this planet.

http://player.vimeo.com/video/6518109?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0

Happy New Year!

2011-12-29T13:54:00.001-08:00

Guesses:

If I were to compare today’s headlines with headlines from a year ago today I suspect I’d find that the more things change the more they stay the same:

I’d find examples everywhere of man’s inhumanity to man. Bombings. Shootings. Violence. Cruelty. Everywhere.

I’d find headlines about football in this country. Bowl games. The professional playoffs on the horizon. American football of course. Which gives rise to scornful references to the football treasured in every other country on the planet – the beautiful game. A perfect example of American Exceptionalism. We’re the best. No one has ever been as wonderful as we are.

Wait – I hear echoes of the same sentiment. In Rome as their empire was declining. In Greece as their empire was declining. Among the Ottomans, as their empire was declining. From the Soviets and the Nazis, before their empires ever really ascended. We had a wonderful moment in history. A moment to be admired and honored. But we’ve turned it into a God-given right to extol ourselves and diminish others. God chose us, so we must deserve it.

Headlines from politicians – telling us ‘I am the one who will make this country great again.’ Oops. ‘I done mean to say we’re not great. Don’t misunderstand me. I mean our leaders are taking us in the wrong direction. If we don’t stop them before it’s too late they’ll defy the will of God and we’ll lose our rightful place as #1.’

Headlines about people having a hard time. They’ve lost their job. They’ve lost their home. Their health is failing. They’ve lost faith in their government. They’ve lost faith in their community. They’ve even lost faith in themselves. Things are getting worse, not better, they say.

Will it be different a year from now? Will the headlines be different? What do you think?

Happy New Year!

Good, Bad & Ugly!

2011-12-19T15:08:00.000-08:00

Good: In two days it’ll be the Winter Solstice. The sun heads the other way. Yes!

Good: No jail time for Barry B. Pursuing him was a waste of time and money from the beginning.

Good: The bums, addicts and seekers of new places to pitch their tents are mostly gone from public spaces. The people who really had something to protest left long ago.

Good: Gingrich and Romney are going after each other. Keep at it, boys.

Good: Tebow and God didn’t pull another miracle, so the Broncos got beat.

Why Am I Not Surprised:

Iraq is wasting no time in starting to fall apart.

Assad continues to kill his people.

The military and civilian leaders in Pakistan are on a collision course.

The Republicans in Congress want to stop the government again.

People are dying on the streets in Egypt and Yemen and Bahrain.

Boats overloaded with refugees are sinking in Asia.

Many Russians are mad at Putin.

Will be missed:

Christopher Hitchens

Vaclav Havel

Warren Hellman

Won’t be missed:

Kim Jong-Il

Total Enjoyment:

Watching the Magicians from Barcelona bewitch Santos

It Would Be Nice, But:

I don’t think the Niners can beat the Steelers tonight.

Observations!

2011-12-09T11:37:00.000-08:00

The picture put out by the Iranians purporting to show the American drone spy plane that crashed in Iran looks like a mock-up from a 50’s science fiction movie. No sign it crashed to earth from 50,000 feet. The best part of this story is the U.S. response on the first day of the story: “Gee, we don’t know how this could happen. The poor drone must have lost its way. It was supposed to be flying over Afghanistan.” Yeah, lost its way and ended up 140 miles into Iran.

Now these Republicans have me confused. With the rise of Newt and the continued blah of Romney I don’t know what to think or who to root for. Who would I rather see run against Obama? Which of these guys would be easier to beat? And if by chance one should be elected who would make the best/worst President? My gut tells me Gingrich would be easier to beat. About what it would be like with one of these guys in the White House – I can’t confront it right now.

Good news: San Francisco now has more dogs than children.

If they give Barry Bonds jail time when he is sentenced next week it will be because of who he is, not what he did. I’m for probation and community service. Making him stay at home for some months would be useless and ridiculous. This whole process has been a waste of time and taxpayer money. Reminds me of the Martha Stewart nonsense.

Shame on Obama for caving to the anti-abortion crowd and overruling the FDA, which wanted to make morning-after pills available to girls under 17 without a prescription. This wasn’t an HHS decision. It was a White House decision. It’s about politics, not medicine or morality. I don’t like it, but why am I not surprised?

Sorry to see Pujols go to the Angels. It’s about L.A. and Florida trying to buy a championship. Worked out really well for the Phillies, Red Sox and Yankees last year, right boys? As for the Giants – I’m satisfied with who’s come in and who’s gone out. With the new guys plus a healthy Posey and Sanchez, we should field a much stronger team this season.

Have a nice day!

Message #17 - Count Your Blessings!

2011-12-01T11:06:00.000-08:00

If I ask how you’re doing I’m likely to get an automatic “Great, how are you?” followed by a string of complaints. What’s going right is buried under a ton of petty problems. Stop it. Take time to Count Your Blessings!

Think about it. What has your attention is ‘stuff.’

She didn’t even call to say she’d be late.

The car needs to be fixed.

My boss doesn’t appreciate what I do.

I didn’t sleep well.

He didn’t even wish me happy birthday.

Stuff. You’re squandering your time and energy on relatively minor stuff. Yes, some of this stuff might be important. And yes, you may need to deal with it. But when you let this stuff keep you from seeing and appreciating what is wonderful in your life you are cheating yourself.

The calendar has days set aside for us to appreciate many things. We’re reminded to appreciate our secretary, our mother, our father, veterans, our country, famous dead people and if you’re Catholic a whole gang of saints. But there is no day set aside for you to appreciate your blessings. You’re on your own.

This is like learning a new skill. You’ll need some practice. An example is the air you breathe. While it is always there you are not aware of it, so it recedes into the background and is invisible. Only when you consciously think about breathing does air become a factor in your life. If your air supply were to be cut off you’d think about it real fast.

Another example is the things you see every day. Every day you probably walk or drive by some buildings or sights or people that would get your attention if you were seeing them for the first time. But if you’re seeing them for the hundredth time you don’t even see them. Snap out of it. Pay attention. Be conscious.

What is sure to get your attention is the stuff I talked about. They’re in your face and in your way pretty much every hour of every day. But your blessings? You take them for granted. Not only are they unappreciated, you don’t even think about them. So first you need to practice thinking about them.

Make a list. A Blessings List. You’ll be amazed at how much you have to be thankful for. Find a way to keep your list in your consciousness. If you don’t, your blessings will quickly become invisible again.

Practice every day. Don’t wait until Sunday morning when you go to church or Saturday in your synagogue or Friday in your mosque. Your blessings are 24/7. They don’t show up at a certain time once a week. So appreciate them more often than that.

You may find you want to be thankful for a different blessing every day. That’s OK, but if you do that be sure to change the order frequently so you don’t fall into an unthinking routine. There’s no right way to practice. Again, whatever works for you is what works.

Your goal should be to move beyond practicing. When appreciating all that you have to be thankful for is with you always you’re no longer a novice. You’re a master who now has the gift of knowing how to Count Your Blessings!

Good News/Bad News!

2011-11-29T09:48:00.000-08:00

The good and the bad abound:

Good – Voting in Egypt is peaceful with a greater-than-expected turnout.

Bad – Recriminations between the U.S. and Pakistan continue unabated about the most recent excuse for ill will – the killing of Pakistani soldiers by NATO aircraft.

Good/Bad – Looks like naughty boy Hermie Cain is gonna drop out. We’ll miss him.

Bad – The Europeans can’t get their financial act together. Hurry up, guys, before it’s too late.

Bad – Urban Meyer’s obscene compensation deal for agreeing to coach their football team.

Good/Bad – NFL suspends the Lions’ Suh for two games for stomping an opponent. Should have been more.

Good – The Arab League’s sanctions against Syria.

Bad – Barney Frank won’t run for reelection.

Bad – Putin running again and retaining control in Russia.

Good – Joe Arpaio endorses Rick Perry. They deserve each other.

Good – Lipitor loses patent protection day after tomorrow.

Bad – Gingrich gaining strength.

Good – Xmas sales season is off to a good start.

Have a nice day!

What are the Chances?

2011-11-22T10:37:00.001-08:00

What are the chances that:

Europe will get through its financial crisis with the Euro and The European Union intact? Not good.

The U.S. will make any substantive progress on its debt, budget and tax impasse before the next election? Not good.

Egypt will end up a year or two from now with a non-military, non-extremist democratic government that has realized the promise of their revolution? Not good.

Syria will emerge from its current troubles as a stable country without a bloody insurrection and civil war? Not good.

The 49’ers will beat Baltimore on Thanksgiving Day? Not good.

Romney will win in Iowa and New Hampshire and wrap up the nomination early? Not good.

Any team will overtake Manchester City and win the Premier League? Not good.

Within the next year I’ll be able to see new movies at home on my TV, even if I’m willing to pay a lot? Not good.

Iran will be deterred from building nuclear weapons without a military strike against them? Not good.

The Supreme Court will leave key provisions of the health care bill intact? Not good.

The Occupy Wall Street phenomenon will reduce financial and social inequality around the world? Not good.

The Americans Elect movement will generate a viable third party alternative in 2012? Not good.

I’m being too cynical in my overall assessment of the world around me? Not good.

Opinions For Today!

2011-11-16T10:07:00.000-08:00

The NBA season is in jeopardy. Good! I won’t miss it. Can only hope the owners and players lose a lot of money, which is what the whole argument is about.

Penn State and the Catholic Church – two peas in a pod. May the Good Lord make sure bad things happen to all of ‘em.

Newt Gingrich is dangerous. He’s an evil, arrogant, supercilious egomaniac. He’s also very smart and articulate, and therefore more of a threat than most of his competition.

The Super Committee has a week left to come up with answers to all our problems. Wanna bet on whether they’ll succeed? They’ll do something to save face and that’s about all.

About the Occupy Wall Streeters and their offshoots: Protest – yes. Camp out – no. Their grievances are legitimate. In the end their lack of focus will minimize their impact.

The Supremes are gonna rule on the health care bill. Unless one of the gang of five ‘more political than judicial’ justices dies I’m not gonna like the decision.

Charlie Rose hosting “The Early Show”? Bad decision, Charlie. Another hero is seduced by – what?

Have a nice day!

Hermie!

2011-11-09T11:14:00.001-08:00

Hermie, Hermie, Hermie.

You’ve been a bad boy, Hermie. Naughty, naughty. What the heck, though. Boys will be boys, right?

Your outraged, repeated denials are kind of cute. Nobody believes you, of course, even those diehard fans who think it’s a fabricated story created by lefties and their flunkies who control the press. Well, that’s not quite accurate. Mrs. Hermie believes you. Her hubby wouldn’t behave that way. No, Sirree. Not my Hermie.

There’s no way you’re gonna change your story. And that’s good. More ladies will come forth with lies about you. The stories will become more graphic. Doesn’t matter. You’ve done nothing wrong. Never have. Never will.

Well, good for you. For those of us who don’t care about you and your past (or your present) it’s a welcome diversion from the boredom of watching Mittie move on inexorably to his nomination. Now if some ladies from Mitt’s past would come forth with some goodies, that would be interesting. Fuggett it. Ain’t gonna happen.

Conclusions!

2011-10-31T15:38:00.000-07:00

About the Madoffs:

Ruth is clueless. Had no idea what was going on.

The surviving son is telling the truth. He didn’t know about the old man’s Ponzi scheme.

Herman Cain’s denial of sexual misconduct is a lie. He is guilty – and more women will step forward to accuse him of behaving badly with them.

The U.S. carrot/stick approach to Pakistan aimed at convincing them to be more helpful in preventing terrorists on their side of the border from attacking Americans in Afghanistan – will fail.

Albert Pujols will be heavily wooed – and will stay in St. Louis.

Unfortunately – Stanford will not make it through the season undefeated.

Ed Lee will be elected Mayor in San Francisco.

The Occupy Wall Street protests won’t lead to a groundswell that will really make a difference. The anger and frustration are real and justified. But there is no compelling rallying cry and it is too easy for opportunists to put up tents and hang out.

Obama’s “We Can’t Wait” campaign is the best approach he’s come up with so far. And maybe too little too late.

The Congressional Super Committee will not reach an agreement by Nov. 23. Then it really gets interesting.

Movies Not Allowed!

2011-10-23T13:43:00.001-07:00

The hottest new book of the season, Steve Jobs’ biography by Walter Isaacson, will be released tomorrow. In the morning I can download it to my Kindle for $16.99 and start reading it.

Coldplay’s new album, “Mylo Xylot” will also be released tomorrow. In the morning I can download it on iTunes for $9.99 and listen to it.

But how about popular new movies that were released this weekend? Or released within the past month? Or released within the past six months? Can I pay a fee and see them at my leisure? No way!

They’re not available on DVD or Blue-Ray or on Pay-Per-View or streaming to my computer or iPad or streaming to my TV, even if I’ve got a set-top box or subscribe to NetFlix. Even if I’m willing to pay they’re not available.

Because the film distributors, exhibitors, studios and the rest think they must protect their products from people like me. I can see their films without waiting only if I go to the theaters in which they’re on display. Not a difficult process, they say. Just go to your nearest movie theater.

Simple. A half hour ride. A $10 parking fee. Waiting in line to pay $30 for tickets for the two of us. Another $15 if we want some greasy popcorn and a sugar-infused beverage. Finding a seat next to some text-crazy teenager who hasn’t bathed in a week. Staying away from the old lady with bronchitis. Putting distance between us and the squalling kids who won’t shut up. And getting a seat with an unobstructed view of the screen.

I’d gladly pay big bucks if the film dictators would only let me stay home and watch it on my HD TV set. In the end they won’t win. Like book publishers and music moguls they’ll realize that the world has changed and that they have to change with it. But in the meantime I’m frustrated and inconvenienced by their dinosaur-like mentality.

Very frustrating!

Who Woulda Thought?

2011-10-17T11:04:00.001-07:00

Who woulda thought:

The Godfather Pizza guy would be leading the Republican polls? Don’t worry – it won’t last.

The Niners would be 5-1? Hope springs eternal.

We’d have boots on the ground to fight the Lord’s Resistance Army? OK, a moral stand.

They’d give Rajaratnam 11 years? You’ve been a bad boy.

Europe’s economic survival would depend on Slovakia? Don’t worry, it doesn’t.

Berlusconi would survive to play another day? I woulda thought that.

The Israelis would give back 1,000 bad guys to bring Schalit home? Go figure.

Iran would hire a Mexican drug guy/DEA informant to kill the Saudi ambassador? Not me.

The “Book of Mormon” would wow Broadway? Joseph Smith visits South Park.

Fois gras would be banned in California? Guess that figures. Vegans Rule!

Have a nice day.

Musings!

2011-10-06T10:25:00.001-07:00

Can the legacy of Steve Jobs be explained and analyzed? No. Genius is inexplicable.

Three of the four first round baseball playoffs are going to a winner-take-all Game 5. That’s a good thing.

In the domain of lowered expectations given Obama’s troubles: Well, I guess the country will survive a Romney Presidency. As for the other Republican clowns – I’m not so sure.

Did you see the “60 Minutes” piece on Alex Honnold, the guy who climbs sheer rock faces thousands of feet high with no ropes or safety equipment – only his finger tips and toes? Impossible. Insane. Makes my stomach flip-flop just thinking about it.

Fleet Week starts today. In a little while the Blue Angels will be screaming overhead. Some people object to the noise. I love it.

I hear some people want to start a trade war with China. That’ll teach ‘em, right? Lower the value of your currency, China, or we’ll show you how tough we are.

There must be a viable third party hiding somewhere. Where are you when we really need you? Not a Perot or Nader. I said ‘viable.’

Have a nice day!

Message #16 - Don't Fall Off the Balance Beam!

2011-10-05T12:19:00.000-07:00

What I have to say here is a corollary to Message #15 – Take Time Out.

It’s easy to say, “You need balance in your life.” Easy to say, but not easy to do, right?

On the surface this dictum makes sense. After all, who wouldn’t agree that balance is a good thing? I must think so. If I didn’t, why would I send you a message saying Don’t Fall Off the Balance Beam?

When you think ‘balance,’ what image comes to mind? There is balance as in a scale, where what is on one end equals what is on the other end. So the scale is at peace with itself, nicely balanced, in the middle, not tilting one way or the other. Peaceful, but not too exciting.

There is balance as in accounting, to make sure the books are balanced. We want to be sure that the numbers on one side equal the numbers on the other side.

There is balance as in a watch’s balance wheel. Probably most of you have never seen a watch with a balance wheel, a mechanism that moves the hands forward accurately. Quartz watch movements pretty much put the balance wheel industry out of business. But for centuries they were important. Kept things ticking along, so to speak.

There is balance as in tire balance, making sure that the four tires on your car are in line, properly inflated and working properly. After all, you wouldn’t want to wobble down the highway in an unbalanced condition.

So clearly balance is good. Having things in a state of peaceful equilibrium is good.

There’s only one problem: life doesn’t work that way. Maybe in an alternative universe you’ll find it. Not in this one. We are out of balance all the time. Bouncing from one thing to the next, often wondering when we’ll be able to get it all together. And getting sage advice like, “You need balance in your life.”

Say you’re on vacation. You’re out of balance. All play and no work. In terms of balance it’s no different than if you’re working 18-hour days for weeks on end. You’re out of balance. All work and no play.

So what can you do? Obviously you’re doomed. You’ll always be out of balance, right? Wrong! Why wrong? Because it’s the totality of your life that you want to have balanced, not each individual part. Which brings me to ‘balancing.’

Your life is not static; it’s dynamic. You are bouncing from one thing to the next. Since you can’t stop your life, your challenge is to stay physically and mentally healthy while life is going on. Balancing helps you win this game.

I know what’s coming next: “OK, Dan, fine. If you’re so smart, tell me how to do balancing.”

Sorry. It’s like I said in “Taking Time Out.” You have to discover what works for you. I can’t give you an infallible method to achieve and maintain balance. What I can do is point you in a new direction.

First, stop saying it’s hopeless. Stop being a victim. “I’m a single mom. I’ve got kids to take care of, which is a full-time job. And I’ve got another full-time job that I need to pay the rent and put food on the table. And I’d like to exercise once in a while. And I’d like some kind of a social life. There aren’t enough hours in the day.”

You’re right. With that attitude it is hopeless. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy that guarantees more of the same. Of course, changing your attitude won’t automatically give you a balanced life. What it will do is open up the possibility that it doesn’t have to be this way. At a minimum if will set you on a new path. You won’t be throwing in the towel before the fight begins.

Try balancing. Begin by asking yourself, “What would make me happy?” And then answer the question. I’m not talking about an abstract academic exercise here. Really answer the question. And then take action.

“A half hour a day when I could do whatever I want, like reading a book, would make me happy.” Good. Do it!

“An unplanned, quiet 15 minutes with my partner before we go to sleep would make me happy.” Good. Do it!

“Taking the kids out to the park at least once a week would make me happy.” Good. Do it!

“Talking to my sister once a week would make me happy.” Good. Do it!

Once you’ve tried balancing for a while do an honest assessment to see how well it’s working. Don’t be afraid to make changes. Reinforce what feels right. Cut out or modify what feels wrong or isn’t living up to your expectations.

You don’t need specific measures for determining how well you’re doing. You’ll know.

In Bhutan, their goal is well-being and happiness for their people. They call it Gross National Happiness (GNH). They say that subjective measures are more relevant than objective measures. So they don’t measure GNH directly, but instead focus on a set of indicators that are believed to enhance GNH. They are:

1. Economic Wellness

2. Environmental Wellness

3. Physical Wellness

4. Mental Wellness

5. Workplace Wellness

6. Social Wellness

7. Political Wellness

You don’t need to go to the Himalayas to improve the quality of your life (although I do recommend a visit to Bhutan, one of the treasures in this world.)

Just make sure you Don’t Fall Off the Balance Beam!

Three R's!

2011-09-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

Readin’, Ritin’ and Rithmetic. Makes sense that a kid’s basic education should be focused on mastering these three fundamentals, right?

Not so fast.

The world has changed, and our education gurus are behind the curve. I read the other day that a modern, high-tech school has been chastised because their student’s reading and math skills don’t measure up. But measure up to what?

They are judging abilities as if it were 1911, not 2011. Who depends on memorizing the ‘times tables’ to figure out how to do math? Almost no one. We use some machine or device to do math. Who depends on a pen and paper to write? No one under the age of 30, and few of us older than that. And what is correct spelling? Is ‘you’ more valid than ‘u’? Spk better than speak? Luv superior to love? B to be?

It’s OK to have standards. But the standards should be relevant to the real world in which we live. Texting or its equivalent is not going to go away. New devices that foster shortcuts in communicating and thinking will continue to proliferate. 20^th century measures are holding us back. It is a waste of time to judge how well we’re teaching our kids by relying on what worked in the past.

Dinosaurs in the educational establishment should get out of the way. Let the new rulers of the world figure out what the appropriate game is and how to play it. We might even learn something in the process.

Perry & Ponzi Schemes!

2011-09-19T10:36:00.001-07:00

I thought I didn’t agree with Rick Perry about anything. I may be wrong about that. The screams of dismay, even from the right, directed at him for calling Social Security a Ponzi scheme are predictable. They are guaranteed kneejerk reactions when anyone questions or criticizes this most sacred of all cows.

After all, doesn’t a Ponzi scheme depend on a continuing and ever-increasing flow of new investors if it is to pay the returns promised to earlier investors? How is that not an accurate reflection of the Social Security System?

To don’t back off, Rickie-Boy. Keep tellin’ it like it is.

The USPS!

2011-09-08T09:27:00.001-07:00

When I order something and then find that it will be delivered courtesy of the U.S. Postal Service I’m not a happy boy. No problem if I happen to be home to take possession of the item on the first delivery attempt. But if I’m not here I receive a little beige card that tells me what I have to do to get my package.

UPS and FedEx will attempt to deliver three times before I am inconvenienced. Not the USPS. If I’m lucky I can get a call through and ask them to redeliver. Usually I have to make a trip to the post office, wait in line, then wait again while a person goes to fetch the item, and finally take possession of what should have been delivered to my front door.

Every year we’re told that the price of stamps is going up. More inconvenience. We’re left with old stamps that require an additional 1, 2 or 3 cents under the new rates. Not long ago they came out with Forever stamps, which are purchased at this year’s price and will also work next year when the price is more. That’s a good thing, but hardly a substitute for a system that is viable and efficient for more than a few months.

Also every year we’re told that the USPS is on the verge of bankruptcy. The story is always the same: Congress needs to appropriate more funds to subsidize this badly run business. Prices need to go up. Post offices need to be closed. The number of mail boxes at the corner need to be reduced. Mail delivery on Sat. needs to stop. And so on . . .

The other day I read that 80% of the cost of running the USPS is to cover labor expenses. At UPS that number is 53%. At FedEx it is 32%. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that there’s something wrong with this picture.

I’m not a ‘turn everything over to the private sector’ guy. However, when it comes to USPS I’m ready to make an exception.

Re-Posting "We're Meant to Lose the People We Love"

2011-09-06T14:21:00.000-07:00

THIS WAS ORIGINALLY POSTED ON 9/21/09. IT HAS BECOME A MAGNET FOR SPAM COMMENTS. I AM THEREFORE RE-POSTING IT TO SEE IF THIS WILL ELIMINATE THE UNWANTED COMMENTS.

“We’re Meant to Lose the People We Love”

I saw “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” last night. I didn’t expect to like it. I don’t know why my expectations were low. I hadn’t read any reviews; I just somehow had the idea I wouldn’t like it. A fair question, then, is why did I bother to watch it in the first place? I don’t have a good answer. Let’s just say I was curious about “The Curious Case.”

I was surprised. I did like it. It was very evocative. It embraces aspects of life that touch us all:

Mortality

Relationships

Old Age

Romance & Love

First Time Experiences

Innocence

That the film is technically creative, well acted and directed and held my interest for well over two hours are not what have me thinking about it today. It’s a line, I assume from the original short story by F. Scott Fitzerald: We’re Meant to Lose the People We Love.

I love and hate the thought. I love the thought because it confirms we have been blessed with the gift of love. I hate the thought because it implies that the people and the love don’t last forever. We can lose them when death intervenes, but that’s not the only way. We can lose them through estrangement. We can lose them by not paying attention, by not nurturing them. We can lose them because the passage of time makes them seem less important.

Is it inevitable then, this losing the people we love? Do we have no choice? I fear the answer is ‘yes.’ This is indeed the way life is. But I can also see that I’m not powerless. I can accept my loss without liking it. I can remember, when I am in the presence of love, to embrace it. And I can take comfort in knowing that the people and the love are not inseparable. It may be that I’ll lose you, but that doesn’t mean I have to lose my love for you.